Christina: Mmph... *slurp* Ah.
St. John: Feel better?
Christina: Not really. Not even a threesome with my best buds can cheer me up. The hashtag blew up overnight. Entire articles and forums are devoted to completely destroying my professional life. God forbid they connect me to my creative writing...
Bors: Let's not catastrophisize this situation.
Christina: Just wait until Ute hears of this.
Ute: YOU! Christina: *ulp* Ute: I've been inundated with emails demanding my production studio cut all ties with you! Ben and Evie are still deleting all the spam!
Christina: It was one freakin' article!
Ute: Oh, I know. I don't blame you for this at all.
Ute: Unfortunately, angry pathetic douchebags make up a significant chunk of the porn consuming public, and that is a tough demographic to sway. Yes, there is no anger quite like entitled male anger....
St. John: So what can we do to get 'em to leave Chris alone?
Ute: Hmm... We can't ignore them. We can't give in to them. We can't shame them. And we can't afford the plane tickets to show up at their houses and beat them up....
Bors: Which would be fun, but ultimately futile.
Ute: Correctamundo. No, these buggers subsist on righteous indignation, conspiracy, and not seeing their victim as a real person.
St. John: I have a cunning plan.
Ute: Yes, I haven't forgot your last cunning plan to use the lawnmower for fur grooming, but do go on.
St. John: But this is a really good one! We *whisperwhisperwhisper* then we *whisperwhisperwhisper*
Christina: Why are you whispering?
St. John: I don't know.
Will St. John's plan save Christina from the wrath of assholes with too much time on their hands work? Will it include a lawnmower? Will we ever figure out what made everybody so horny? Seriously, I’m not sure how much longer Wolfsbane can take it. Seriously, Bors, get on that before she explodes.
Tune in tomorrow for DD100 and find out in the thrilling conclusion to #PornoGate!